Make your mind one-pointed in meditation, and your heart will be purified…With all fears dissolved in the peace of the Self and all desires dedicated to Brahman, controlling the mind and fixing it on me (God), sit in meditation with me as your only goal. With senses and mind constantly controlled through meditation, united with the Self within, an aspirant attains nirvana, the state of abiding joy and peace in me.
- Bhagavad Gita 6:12-15
I Didn’t Know My Own Strength – Whitney Houston
Try Sleeping With A Breaking Heart – Alicia Keys
(surprising uplifting despite title)
By standing on his own A man finds happiness. By standing on his own A man finds freedom. By standing on his own He goes beyond the world. By standing on his own He finds the end of the way.
- Ashtavakra Gita 18:50
Let this picture be an inspiration to me – wild, free, and untamed. My wild, angry, savage, childish, selfish, self-absorbed heart is never meant to be tamed. So, I let it all go and I know that I will always be wild, free, and untamed.
I embrace the aloneness. I celebrate the aloneness. I am aloneness. I am ONE.
Freedom!
The last few days have been hell. Pure absolutely hell. And so yesterday I drove to Washington, DC to get some help. The person I saw said something that stopped me in my tracks and opened the door for me to try to a way through the sadness and hell.
“You need to love them as they need to be loved as they should be loved. Accept the love as it should be not as the way you want it to be. Let it be the gentle way, the sweetness, the light.”
and
“They are not coming to rescue you. Come to terms with that. And you really do not want them to rescue you.”
I must rescue my own self. The 6 year old in me yes wants desperately to be rescued and loved, but the 36 year old woman does not want to be rescued. She needs a partner not a rescuer. And she need to rescue herself. I need to walk into the light and out of the darkness and pain and to love the way that is needed not the way I want it.
I need to listen to my brain and not my crazy heart. And to love smartly.
I have a choice – I can be a 6 year old who believes in fairy tales or a 36 year old mature woman who is smart and who knows she must be the strong one.
I will be the 36 year old and focus and strong. I will embrace the light and step out of the 6 year old darkness.
I am gritting my teeth now, chin up, must keep fighting.
I understand now that the only person who can save me, who can only ensure my happiness, who can make me happy, who can bring me peace, who can ensure I survive somehow someway is ME. Not my family, not my friends, and not a certain someone who I have put too much reliance on and who I centered all my happiness around.
I must find a way to survive, someway to endure, and someway to be happy MYSELF. One foot in front of the other, I must find a way to climb this mountain in front of me – free and wild.
Onwards….
East is east
West is west
Never the two will meet**
Day is day
Night is night
Night fades to day
Day flees from night
You are day
You are east
I am night
I am west
Never the two will meet.
Always seperate.
Eternally apart.
Accepted and understood
that is life and the rules of the universe.
I live my life
wild and untamed
dark and deep as the night.
You live your life
dancing in the sun
ever bright.
Calmness and serenity reign
as night fades to day, letting go,
understanding for eternity.
–Written by Anne Collins, 5:00 pm 10/19/2009
**first three lines borrowed from The Ballad of East and West by Rudyard Kipling**
“If you love something let it go free. If it doesn’t come back, you never had it. If it comes back, love it forever.”
You do not know do you
that when we say our goodbyes
and as you hang up
and as I click off the phone
of the pain that sears through me
of all the thousands of miles
of all the things separating us
dividing us
preventing us
you do not know
of the hallowness sorrow
that permeates through my soul
and rings with the whys and why nots
you do not know of the tears
that silently roll down my face
as I say goodbye
and start a new day alone
knowing that I love you
but that it is never ever enough.
==Written by Anne Collins Sinha, 10/02/2009
As this new year dawns, I am beginning to realize I how little I actually I know about love and loving. In the last 2 weeks, I have realized what real, solid love is – be it family love, friendship love or romantic love.
My sister (god bless her) shared this from the bible from 1 Corinthians 13 and wow – it says it all. I am going to hold on to this and remind myself this – this is what real SOLID positive love is.
Love is always patient;
love is always kind;
love is never envious
or arrogant with pride.
Nor is she conceited,
and she is never rude;
she never thinks just of herself
or ever get annoyed.
She never is resentful;
is never glad with sin,
but always glad to side with truth,
whene’er the truth should win.
She bears up under everything,
believes the best in all,
there is no limit to her hope,
and she will never fall.
The last few days have been so upsetting. I have been coming to terms with being so hurt and so afraid of being hurt. However, God gave me a gift of a dream to hold on to…
I dreamt I was asleep (hmm dreaming within a dream like a play within a play) and that I gradually awoken to being kissed passionately on the lips, face, and neck. That this sweet amazing person had surprised me and decided to wake me up this way. It was so sweet to dream of waking up, surprised but overjoyed, and kissing and returning the love and passion as you drift awake from conciousness. It was such a vivid strong dream and LOVING dream. And I have to thank God for giving me that – if I can not have it in reality at least during this shattering and painful time, he gave me something to hold on to. How sweet it was to at least in dream think of nectar like kisses…
Was in a restrospective, homesick mood today so ended up listening to autoharp music . My dad plays the autoharp and my sisters and I even gifted him one for his birthday a few years ago. It brings back so much memories of my dad playing and also of my dad’ side of the family get togethers where people would all play various instruments and also sing. I am afraid yours truly (me) could only sing (and not very well at that – I got the James singing reedy voice). But oh my, do I miss those events with my sisters and parents and how I miss my grandparents and the joy in music and life in general.
Am not sure why, but the Shaker tune “Simple Gifts” just speaks volume to me and touches me in a very deep place. But oh how I adore that song….just like “Keep on the Sunny Side” and “Wildwood Flower”
Check out:
http://www.harveyreid.com/audio/southwind1.mp3
and
http://www.harveyreid.com/recordings/autoharp/autoharp.html
Also see:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHBqdlorCeo
https://www.wherehouse.com/music/sound-sample.jsp?format=wm&id=283470
https://www.wherehouse.com/music/sound-sample.jsp?format=wm&id=5233178
https://www.wherehouse.com/music/sound-sample.jsp?format=wm&id=3106829
Take me back to the place where I first saw the light
To my sweet sunny south, take me home
Where the mocking birds sing me to sleep every night
Oh why was I tempted to roam
The path to our cottage they say has grown green
And the place is quite lonely around
I know that the smiles and the forms that I’ve seen
Now lie in the dark mossy ground
Take me back to the place where I first saw the light
To my sweet sunny south, take me home
Where the mocking birds sing me to sleep every night
Oh why was I tempted to roam
Take me back to the place where the orange trees grow
To my plot in the evergreen shade
Where the flowers from the river green margin did grow
And spread their sweet scene through the glade
Take me back to the place where I first saw the light
To my sweet sunny south, take me home
Where the mocking birds sing me to sleep every night
Oh why was I tempted to roam
The last month has been really really really tough. I have gone through so many phases – bad and good ones. In reaching today (Friday), I am finally seeing some small sprout of hope. But what the past few weeks have shown me who is REAL (those of you who have stood by me through the darkest and coldest of nights and times) and who is not. I am seeing the wheat seperating from the chaff. I am in awe of those of you who have opened your hearts and arms to me in the last 2 months. I will for the rest of my life seek to “play that forward”. I am so grateful to God for all of you in my life.
And in a way, I am also in a way relieved to know who just are the REAL people in my life and who the fake ones are. I am finally seeking simplicity and clarity. I am cleaning house and weeding my garden.
This morning, I am realizing there will always be people who will HATE you or will try to take advantage of you and use you. All I care is to take a deep breathe, seek peaceness and calmness and then work my ass off.
Life is too beautiful to waste it – so I am LETTING GO of all the negative crap and hurt and anger and embracing the LIGHT and the ENERGY. I will never give up this fire in me for life and my zest for life. Life is made for dancing.
I will NOT waste it on HATERS and negative energy.
Onward and only way is up!
La vie est belle! C’est vrai, n’est ca pas?
Rows and floes of angel hair
And ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons evrywhere
Ive looked at clouds that way
But now they only block the sun
They rain and snow on evryone
So many things I would have done
But clouds got in my way
Ive looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
Its cloud illusions I recall
I really dont know clouds at all
Moons and junes and ferris wheels
The dizzy dancing way you feel
As evry fairy tale comes real
Ive looked at love that way
But now its just another show
You leave em laughing when you go
And if you care, dont let them know
Dont give yourself away
Ive looked at love from both sides now
From give and take, and still somehow
Its loves illusions I recall
I really dont know love at all
Tears and fears and feeling proud
To say I love you right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds
Ive looked at life that way
But now old friends are acting strange
They shake their heads, they say Ive changed
Well somethings lost, but somethings gained
In living evry day
Ive looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
Its lifes illusions I recall
I really dont know life at all
Ive looked at life from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
Its lifes illusions I recall
I really dont know life at all
Grief is messy and exhausting. The waves of emotions crash against the solidness of rational. The irrational versus rational. Brain versus heart.
God, I love Pink when I am in an angry mood….
Just Like a Pill
I’m lyin’ here on the floor where you left me
I think I took too much
I’m crying here, what have you done?
I thought it would be fun
I can’t stay on your life support, there’s a shortage in the switch,
I can’t stay on your morphine, cause its making me itch
I said I tried to call the nurse again but she´s being a little bitch,
I think I’ll get outta here, where I can
Run just as fast as I can
To the middle of nowhere
To the middle of my frustrated fears
And I swear you’re just like a pill
Stead of makin’ me better, you keep makin’ me ill
You keep makin’ me ill
I haven’t moved from the spot where you left me
This must be a bad trip
All of the other pills, they were different
Maybe I should get some help
I can’t stay on your life support, there’s a shortage in the switch,
I can’t stay on your morphine, cause its making me itch
I said I tried to call the nurse again but she’s being a little bitch,
I think I’ll get outta here, where I can
Run just as fast as I can
To the middle of nowhere
To the middle of my frustrated fears
And I swear you’re just like a pill
Stead of makin’ me better, you keep makin’ me ill
You keep makin’ me ill
Run just as fast as I can
To the middle of nowhere (arr)
To the middle of my frustrated fears
And I swear you’re just like a pill
Stead of makin’ me better, you keep makin’ me ill
You keep makin’ me ill
I can’t stay on your life support, there’s a
shortage in the switch,
I can’t stay on your morphine, cause its making me itch
I said I tried to call the nurse again but she’s being a little bitch,
I think I’ll get outta here, where I can,
Run just as fast as I can
To the middle of nowhere (ahh)
To the middle of my frustrated fears
And I swear you’re just like a pill
Stead of makin’ me better, you keep makin’ me ill
Your keep makin’ me ill
Need to remind myself of this…
Beautiful by Christina Aguilera
Don’t look at me
Every day is so wonderful
And suddenly, i saw debris
Now and then, I get insecure
From all the pain, I’m so ashamed
I am beautiful no matter what they say
Words can’t bring me down
I am beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can’t bring me down
So don’t you bring me down today
To all your friends, you’re delirious
So consumed in all your doom
Trying hard to fill the emptiness
The piece is gone left the puzzle undone
That’s the way it is
You are beautiful no matter what they say
Words can’t bring you down
You are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can’t bring you down
Don’t you bring me down today…
No matter what we do
(no matter what we do)
No matter what they say
(no matter what they say)
When the sun is shining through
Then the clouds won’t stay
And everywhere we go
(everywhere we go)
The sun won’t always shine
(sun won’t always shine)
But tomorrow will find a way
All the other times
’cause we are beautiful no matter what they say
Yes, words won’t bring us down, oh no
We are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can’t bring us down
Don’t you bring me down today
Don’t you bring me down today
Don’t you bring me down today
I adore Annie Lennox – her voice is so rich and the lyrics from her songs are incredible.
This song and video came out in 1992 back when I graduated high school and I just now realized it has John Malchevich in it and yes that is Hugh Laurie – aka House. Hugh Laurie is just too hot (but not in this vdeo – he is perfect as House). And the costumes are incredible – oh my god those dresses – these are the dresses I draw all over my notebooks when I was a child in love with costume design. And yes this seems to be a homage to Dangerous Liasons and per various notes I see online John Malchevich is wearing his costume from that movie. (I adore that movie)
And as this video shows, my goodness what we women do and how we make fools out of ourselves when we love. And how desperate we can be in love.
I love the part:
Now everyone of use was made to suffer
Everyone of us was made to weep
But we’ve been hurting one another
And now the pain has cut too deep…
This is on the album which is aptly named “Diva” – and I adore that album. “Why” is another great song!
Lyrics – Walking on Broken Glass – Annie Lennox
You were the sweetest thing that I ever knew
But I don’t care for sugar honey if I can’t have you
Since you’ve abandoned me
My whole life has crashed
Won’t you pick the pieces up
cause it feels just like I’m walking on broken glass
Walking on walking on broken glass
The sun’s still shining in the big blue sky
But it don’t mean nothing to me
Oh let the rain come down
Let the wind blow through me
I’m living in an empty room
With all the windows smashed
And I’ve got so little left to lose
That it feels just like I’m walking on broken glass
Walking on walking on broken glass
And if you’re trying to cut me down
You know that I might bleed
Cause if you’re trying to cut me down
I know that you’ll succeed
And if you want to hurt me
There’s nothing left to fear
Cause if you want to hurt me
You’re doing really well my dear
Now everyone of use was made to suffer
Everyone of us was made to weep
But we’ve been hurting one another
And now the pain has cut too deep…
So take me from the wreckage
Save me from the blast
Lift me up and take me back
Don’t let me keep on walking…
Walking on broken glass
Walking on walking on broken glass
Sometimes you have to go through the pain to express the joy…this too shall pass…
–Words from a Danity Kane song
I tasted such a sweet, fragile joy in the last 2 days. Hope springs forth, shaking like a dove, heart beating fast. Having known pain and hurt, scared of losing something so beautiful and so fragile. Sunshine on the horizon pushing aside the dark clouds. A gift so amazing, so priceless that I praise God for it.
A choice lays before me – a fork in the road sits before me. I could take the safe path protected from the wildness and peaks and valleys. This path beckons me with a plain of golden grasses and flat, steady courses.
After one long look and a crystal moment of clarity, I turn and choose the other path and embrace it. I dance down this path. This path is full of tall, impossible mountains to climb, full of blizzards, and full of dry, burning deserts. I know I will cry and hurt on this path. I know I will come close to breaking on this path. My heart will shatter on this path. But this path is also full amazing, beautiful joys and vistas so breathetaking and full of transcendence. I know with such clarity, that I would never exchange the beauty, joy, and yet also pain for the numbness of the other path. Yes, I will ache and break on this path, but I would never give up the beauty and the joy that also comes with it.
As I embark on this journey, I embrace the duality and plurality of this path.
For the first time, I am trying not to let expectations ruin something so fragile yet so beautiful. They have already come so close to crushing it already. The shoulds, woulds, and wants are killers. I with love embrace acceptance – through acceptance and release of expectations comes freedom and with hope, joy.
I am a feather
I rise and fall
with the winds
of time
soaring one minute
falling the next
I drift along
from place to place
with no home
to call my own
I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love.
–Mother Theresa
Lolcats and funny pictures
MY MORNINGS TO A T!!!!!
I heard this song today by Lori Mckenna and fell absolutely in love with it.
It reminded me that I will never lose my belief in magic, fireflies, and fairy tales – no matter what. Come what may.
The video below is the song I believe song by Faith Hill but I could not find a video of it song by Lori Mckenna who I think wrote the song. I prefer the Lori Mckenna version though the video below is a terrific combo of Disney scenes and I am a sucker for Disney movies.
Lyrics:
Before you met me I was a fairy princess
I caught frogs and called them prince
And made myself a queen
Before you knew me I traveled ’round the world
I slept in castles and fell in love
Because I was taught to dream
I found mayonnaise bottles and poked holes on top
To capture Tinkerbell
They were just fireflies to the untrained eye
But I could always tell
I believe in fairytales and dreamers dreams like bed sheet sails
And I believe in Peter Pan and miracles
And anything I can to get by
And fireflies
Before I grew up I saw you on a cloud
I could bless myself in your name and pat you on your wings
Before I grew up I heard you whisper so loud
“life is hard, and so is love, child, believe in all these things”
I found mayonnaise bottles and poked holes on top
To capture Tinkerbell
And they were just fireflies to the untrained eye
But I could always tell
I believe in fairytales and dreamers dreams like bed sheet sails
And I believe in Peter Pan and miracles
And anything I can to get by
And fireflies
Before you met me I was a fairy princess
I caught frogs and called them prince
And made myself a queen
Before you knew me I traveled ’round the world
And I slept in castles and fell in love
Because I was taught to dream
So every time I saw the trailer for the new DisneyNature film, “Earth” I would cry from the sheer beauty of it. I found it it is based on the BBC series “Planet Earth”. The cinematography is incredible – simply breathtaking. And the trailer song is just amazing – hella beautiful. Makes me want to go out RIGHT NOW and do something! The song is Hoppipolla by Sigur Ros – an Icelandic band. It just akes my breath away. I love it love it love it!
And as suc, I was inspired to build my first playlist on Youtube based on this called “Wonders of this World” which includes amazing earth and nature scenes and also horses, dolphins, orcas, and macaws, tigers and billy goats 
Here is the playlist:
No More I Love You’s by Annie Lennox
So many of Annie Lennox’s songs from this time period is about being turn apart by love. All about women who have loved and hurt and survived. And dear god, can I related to the monsters part and the childish side to them. This song is just simply amazing.
Lyrics:
Used to be lunatic from the gracious days
I used to be woebegone and so restless nights
My aching heart would bleed for you to see
Oh but now…
(I don’t find myself bouncing round whistling
and fortunes to make me cry)
No more “I love you’s”
The language is leaving me
No more “I love you’s”
Changes are shifting outside the word
(The lover speaks about the monsters)
I used to have demons in my room at night
Desire,despair,desire,so many monsters
Oh but now…
(I don’t find myself bouncing round whistling
buttonhole tunes to make me cry)
No more “I love you’s”
The language is leaving me
No more “I love you’s”
The language is leaving me in silence
No more “I love you’s”
Changes are shifting outside the word
They were being really crazy
They were on the come.
And you know what mammy?
Everybody was being really crazy.
Uh huh.
The monsters are crazy.
There are monsters outsides.
No more “I love you’s”
The language is leaving me
No more “I love you’s”
The language is leaving me in silence
No more “I love you’s”
Changes are shifting outside the word
Outside the word
So Annie Lennox just sums up so much for me in her songs…another great one:
Why by Annie Lennox
Again another one where she is realing from love and feeling so misunderstood and confused. The simple question “Why?” is so powerful.
I crawl across a floor of broken glass on and on
endless, slowly, painfully, determinedly
as I bleed
you stand there
self righteous and judgemental
as I cry out
you turn your back; and
ice cold winds
turn my blood to ice
–Written by Anne Berkele Collins, June 9, 2009
After the hurricane, comes the rainbow….
Very applicable from the 1980s … ‘Cause nothin’ lasts forever / And we both know hearts can change / And it’s hard to hold a candle / In the cold November rain and Everybody needs some time / On their own / Don’t you know you need some time / All alone….
November Rain
Guns N’ Roses
Lyrics:
When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained
But darlin’ when I hold you
Don’t you know I feel the same
‘Cause nothin’ lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it’s hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain
We’ve been through this
Such a long long time
Just tryin’ to kill the pain
Yeahh..
But lovers always come
And lovers always go
And no one’s really sure
Who’s lettin’ go today
Walking away
If we could take the time
To lay it on the line
I could rest my head
Just knowin’ that you were mine
All mine
So if you want to love me
Then darlin’ don’t refrain
Or I’ll just end up walkin’
In the cold November rain
Do you need some time
On your own
Do you need some time
All alone
Everybody needs some time
On their own
Don’t you know you need some time
All alone
I know it’s hard to keep an open heart
When even friends seem out to harm you
But if you could heal a broken heart
Wouldn’t time be out to charm you
Sometimes I need some time
On my own
Sometimes I need some time
All alone
Everybody needs some time
On their own
Don’t you know you need some time
All alone
And when your fears subside
And shadows still remain
I know that you can love me
When there’s no one left to blame
So never mind the darkness
We still can find a way
‘Cause nothin’ lasts forever
Even cold November rain
Don’t ya think that you
Need somebody
Don’t ya think that you
Need someone
Everybody needs somebody
You’re not the only one
You’re not the only one
Don’t ya think that you
Need somebody
Don’t ya think that you
Need someone
Everybody needs somebody
You’re not the only one
You’re not the only one
Don’t ya think that you
Need somebody
Don’t ya think that you
Need someone
Everybody needs somebody
You’re not the only one
You’re not the only one
Don’t ya think that you
Need somebody
Don’t ya think that you
Need someone
Everybody needs somebody
The lyrics hold so true in so much of my life right now…I was your fortress you had to burn, you were my lesson I had to learn…The spell has been broken…I loved you so….so true. And the images of the ocean – well lets just say I have had some late night drives to the ocean here to deal with heartache and pain.
I want to go higher!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lyrics:
Power Of Goodbye – Madonna
Your heart is not open so I must go
The spell has been broken I loved you so
Freedom comes when you learn to let go
Creation comes when you learn to say no
You were my lesson I had to learn
I was your fortress you had to burn
Pain is a warning that something’s wrong
I pray to God that it won’t be long
Walk away
There’s nothing left to try
There’s no place left to hide
There’s no greater power than the power of good-bye
Your heart is not open so I must go
The spell has been broken I loved you so
You were my lesson I had to learn
I was your fortress
There’s nothing left to lose
There’s no more heart to bruise
There’s no greater power than the power of good-bye
Learn to say good-bye
I yearn to say good-bye
There’s nothing left to try
There’s no more places to hide
There’s no greater power than the power of good-bye
There’s nothing left to lose
There’s no more heart to bruise
There’s no greater power than the power of good-bye
I have swum too far out
in this sea of emotions
wild waves of feelings
wash over me
leaving me gasping for air
the dark seaweed tendrils
of desire, lust, jealousy
pull at my legs
seeking to pull me down
into the dark depths
–Written by Anne Berkele Collins, June 29, 2009
How does one stop loving?
How does one stop hearing the song
of the universe
within a laugh
within a giggle
within one word
How does one stop loving
in this magnetic pull
across time, place, and history
One can not
as I sing my song in answer
–Written by Anne Berkele Collins, July 5, 2009
I am haunted by these two images….
The Kiss by Klimt
and
Antonio Canova’s Cupid and Psyche
True love doesn’t have a happy ending, because true love never ends. Letting go is one way of saying I love you.
– Author Unknown
I love this poem by Pablo Neruda. His poetry just sings to me and puts into words so many many many things. It speaks about loneliness, craving, love, fear, aching – he phrases it all so well…if I could really write poetry – this is how I would write. Neruda is a god and his poetry is the language of my soul. His poetry says so much what I am feeling. Just like how Annie Lennox’s songs sing from my soul, Neruda’s poetry speak of it.
Don’t Go Far Off, Not Even For A Day
Don’t go far off, not even for a day, because –
because — I don’t know how to say it: a day is long
and I will be waiting for you, as in an empty station
when the trains are parked off somewhere else, asleep.
Don’t leave me, even for an hour, because
then the little drops of anguish will all run together,
the smoke that roams looking for a home will drift
into me, choking my lost heart.
Oh, may your silhouette never dissolve on the beach;
may your eyelids never flutter into the empty distance.
Don’t leave me for a second, my dearest,
because in that moment you’ll have gone so far
I’ll wander mazily over all the earth, asking,
Will you come back? Will you leave me here, dying?
by Pablo Neruda
Am feeling so melancholy and sad…one of our cats – the cat my sister adopted in Bulgaria while she was in the Peace Corps and who my parents adopted from her when her apartment in DC would not take cats – the baby of our family – is missing – despite looking high and low through the woods and buildings – she has just disappeared and it is just so sad – we miss her and I hate to see the pain it is causing my parents and my sister. It is like 110 degrees here as well and I just want to lay down and cry.
On top of that my heart is just so confused, sad, and depressed and feeling rejected.
I love this song as it speaks to my sadness and my melancholy…and it has sunflowers in the video and sunflowers mean something special to me…
alternative video:
As soon as I wrote that post and posted that video, we found her – she had been missing for 1.5 days. Thank you God. Thank you God Thank you God Thank you God.
Sundays are tough, tough, tough. I can try to distract myself and fill the day with many, many, many things but all it does is remind me of all the nevers. The silence is deafening.
You don’t know what it is like….
LOLCats always help….
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
My mother got me hooked on an early age on 50s musicals (on a side note that is why I love Bollywood movies and their large dance numbers – I challenge anyone to compare “June is Bustin Out All Over” from the 50s musical, Carousel to any Bollywood movie group dance sequence!)
Here are two of my fav videos (and for once no they are not from Sound of Music)
From South Pacific: “A Wonderful Guy” – love love love love love this one and her dancing around on the beach and singing how much she loves..just GREAT!
“I am as corny as Kansas in August”….
and then from Carousel itself – one of the all time best LOVE songs of all time “If I Loved You” – one of the best duets of all time!
Today just feels so blah. Full of wants and needs – impossible needs and wants. Tried being grateful for what I have but does not help.
I need to cheer up. Need to dance and laugh. Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Want to cheer me up?
Everytime I see this gorgeous video I just realize how small my troubles and sorrows are compared to this gorgeous amazing planet and just how beautiful and awesome nature is. This is how I feel closer to God – in nature.
“Trees are the earth’s endless effort to speak to the listening heaven.”
–RABINDRANATH TAGORE
Just like their name, sunflowers adore full sun and warm weather.
–from http://www.flower-gardening-made-easy.com/growing-sunflowers.html
Sunflower plants grow well in average to rich soils. They need to grow their roots deep and wide, to enable them to withstand strong winds. If you have a choice, sandy soils are not recommended, as they are easily uprooted in loose soil. Rich soil is important, when growing giant varieties.
Deep roots help sunflowers to withstand most droughts. They will benefit from a dose of fertilizer when you apply it to the rest of your garden.
–from http://www.gardenersnet.com/vegetable/sunflowr.htm
About sunflowers:
Sunflowers originated in North America in 3000 BC. During the 1500s, explorers brought the sunflower to Europe, where it spread along trade routes to Russia, Egypt, and the Far East. There are over 150 species of sunflowers. Some grow as high as 15 feet, while the dwarf plants grow 2-3 feet tall only.
Helianthus comes from the Greek ~Helios~ which means ~sun~ and ~anthos~ which means ~flower.~ These flowers always turn towards the sun. They were grown for their usefulness, not their beauty. In 1532 Francisco Pizarro reported seeing the natives of the Inca Empire in Peru worshipping a giant sunflower. Incan priestesses wore large sunflower disks made of gold on their garments.
According to Greek mythology, there was once a water-nymph, who fell in love with Apollo, the God of the Sun. She was so in love with him that she sat on the ground and stared up at the sun all day long. Apollo never noticed her. The other gods, however, took pity on the young girl and turned her into the sunflower. This is why the sunflower forever follows the path of the sun in the sky. She does not want to lose site of her lover.
Another legend tells that Clytie, a nymph loved Helius the Sun god, but he scorned her in favour of another girl called Leucothoe. In a fit of jealousy Clytie told the affair to Leucothoe’s father, King Orchamus of Persia, who then buried his daughter alive as a punishment. Helius hated Clytie even more, and poor Clytie wasted away and became the sunflower, whose head turns to follow the course of the sun across the sky each day.
Sunflowers represented different meanings in many cultures. In China they symbolized longevity. In the Andes Mountains, golden images of sunflowers were found in temples. They were used by Central and North American natives to make oil for food, medicine, and dye. North America Indians in the prairies placed bowls of sunflower seeds on the graves of their dead. It is said that if a girl puts three sunflower seeds down her back, she will marry the first boy she meets. The sunflower’s turning as it follows the sun symbolizes deep loyalty and constancy also symbolizes power, warmth, and nourishment (all the attributes of the sun), as well as haughtiness, false appearances and unhappy love. The dwarf sunflower satands for adoration in the language of flowers.
Sunflower is grown for the seeds and oil it produces. Each mature flower yields 40% of its weight as oil. One sunflower head can produce up to 1,000 seeds.
Sunflowers have become the symbol of a world free of nuclear weapons. After Ukraine gave up its last nuclear warhead, the Defense Ministers of the U.S., Russia, and Ukraine met on a former Ukranian missile base on June 4, 1996. They celebrated by scattering sunflower seeds and planting sunflowers.
1996 was designated the Year of the Sunflower by the National Garden Bureau. The offical state flower of Kansas is Helicanthus annus, a species of sunflower. Kansas is known as the Sunflower State.
Have you ever had a dream? A dream so much you can taste and feel it and see it? Well I do. The colors of these dream are so vivid – the reds, greens and blues are so bright. The happiness and joy that this dream holds is there shining like a bright incredible light. I once thought it was not possible but just maybe it is possible. I had given up on it and the ensuing sadness nearly swallowed me whole. But now, just maybe…I can almost see it. Will I be able to make it a reality? I guess that is what prayers and hard work are for. Dream on, onward with hard work….
